Fatherhood : The important role that dads play
Sometimes mothers end up saying, "Just you wait until your father comes home," or, "Wait till your father hears about what you have done."
Child thinks- "oh no, I am so scared of what my dad will say"... He feels afraid.
So without even meaning to, a distance is created between fathers and children OR Very often we have this stereotype image that dads just play with kids and the mother does the main job of bringing them up. This does not do justice to what fathers actually contribute to their children's lives.
Do you know that research tells us that fathers and mothers bring different value to a child's life and the child benefits from both? If not fathers then, also from other men in the family such as uncles, grandfathers. The child benefits hugely from every single interaction with father figures as they contribute to preparing the child for the real world. Daughters grow up to look for partners much like their father and will expect to be treated how their father treated them. Boys on the other hand will model their father's behaviour as grown men.
Fathers often may have work pressures and time constraints, which limits them from playing an active role in raising their children. Added to that, men have been conditioned to think that it's their role to discipline thus making it harder for them to share a deep connection with their children. However, it is interesting to know what research tells us about the importance of fathers...
Children with more involved Fathers show:
1. Higher IQ (from as young as 6 months, better performance on tests)
- Better language skills, higher vocabulary
- Better readiness for academics
- Better school performance
2. When children have close emotional relationships with their fathers they show more emotional security/stability, have higher self esteem, and can handle stress and frustration better.
3. Children with involved fathers are less prone to depression, disruptive behaviour, involvement/ use of drugs and alcohol
4. Specifically from the father, children learn problem solving skills, risk taking, increased independence, pro social behaviour and better social skills
5. With more interaction, playtime, and one on one time with the father, children learn better self control so there is less aggression.
6. A father's warmth and nurturance significantly predicts children's moral maturity, positive moral behaviour.
7. In cases, where there might be an absence of a father due to any reason, a healthy and inspirational male role model from the family or friend circle becomes a pillar of strength for the children.
So, fathers please don't underplay your importance as a parent. Children benefit from your presence and you too benefit from being with them. When a father holds his baby/plays with his children his stress hormones come down and nurturing hormones are activated. Fathers also undergo positive changes when they are with their kids.
This show was aired on 104.8 FM on Wednesday, 10th February 2016 and panellists spoke about ideas,discussed more on how Fathers can contribute to their own well being and the well being of their children.