Punishment- Does it help build discipline?
Parents often say," If I don't threaten or scold my child nothing will ever get done at home!"
And children feel, "I better not tell my parents about this, they will just end up shouting at me.''
Many of us grew up being corrected by punishments like being scolded, threatened, privileges being withdrawn, hit or getting the silent treatment from parents and teachers when we did something they thought was wrong. This way of disciplining children stems from the belief that adults need to make children feel bad so that they can learn the lesson. Thinking back, we all can recount how being corrected in this manner left us feeling fearful, lonely, sad, rebellious or more.
What we parents actually want is for our children to grow up having a good sense of balance, habits and ethics. And sometimes, we end up punishing them to build these qualities as we don't know any other way.
How do these punishments affect children? Do they help them in building inner discipline? Does it help our relationship with our children or does it end up making them lie and do things behind our back?
What does actually punishment do?
A child, when punished gets caught up in his own feelings rather than reflecting on what he may have done wrong. While some children become fearful and submissive, others want to challenge the person in authority and become rebellious.
Punishment may work to get the job done for now and as long as there is fear of punishment the child does what is expected. So this defeats the parent's true intention of inculcating life values and skills.
Brain fact: Punishing children makes them anxious, increasing release of stress hormones in the brain, and blocking any chance of learning and reasoning.
This show was aired on 104.8 FM to talk about the impact of punishment on children and what can we do to help children build inner discipline on Wednesday, 30th December 2015